Oh! Canada! GWiMMRN, Edition

Back from my long trip to Canada (everything about me is loooong) and I have brought back many a delicious thing that you now have the pleasure to GWiMMRN:


A) The urinal with the least amount of piss on the floor.
B) Real, Honest-to-Goodness Quebecois Frogs.
C) Talcum powder to calm my itchy crotch.
D) Poutine, with MAN GRAVY.
E) A screaming sense of self-importance wrapped up in a belligerent cock-faced nano-sucking squeezeball.
F) Some amazing SMOKED MEATS from Schwartz's.
G) Niagara Falls lit up at night like some fruity candy-cane.
H) O boy! Another fucking gift shop! WEEEEEEE!
I) A maple syrup covered big, fat cock.

UPDATE: Ba ba ba ba baaaa! I'm lovin' it!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry. Forgot to hit that one.



Now it's the urinal with a big, wet puddle in front of it.

Happy now, dickweasel?

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just want to say that I don't support the unthinking hostility inherent in the previous comment. I think it was gratuitous, unnecessary, and uncalled-for.

You cocksucker.

10:31 AM  
Anonymous Nano-sucking Squeezeball said...


10:32 AM  
Anonymous Schwartz said...

Has anyone, um...



Has anyone seen my amazing meat?

Sorry to ask.

It's, well...


It's smoked.

10:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way, on a recent trip to the beach, my sister-in-law expressed fear of sharks.

While in the ocean, I several times said, "Shark! Shark!" in a quiet voice and then laughed hysterically.

I blame this disgusting website for my now-incurable lack of social skills.

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shark! Shark!



11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Schwartz,

Your smoked meats are amazing.

Sincerely yours,


11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your lack of social-skills has nothing to do with this website.



hee hee

11:39 AM  

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