Nobody Wants to Deal With My Mouth

My mouth is not going to go away. It's sticking around. It's going to be here for some time. A LONG time. You have NO idea. Guess what's in it right now:

A) The track ball of the semi-attractive, heavily-tattooed woman in Customer Service that I occasionally smear with my own jism so that every time she does some work, I can pretend she's jerking me off
B) The cock ring dispenser ($2/ring) I saw in the bathroom of that strip joint in Ottawa, Ontario
C) A chunk
D) A very nice piece of jewelry I complimented Sister Mary O'Flanagan on wearing during one of our counseling sessions
E) A moist, green, peanut-strewn dump that smelled so bad that I considered calling a doctor right after to ask if such a thing was normal
F) A big, fat beringed cock


Anonymous Your Doctor said...

A moist, green, peanut-strewn dump is only normal for geese (gooses, to the layman). And it's only normal if you fed peanuts to the goose before-hand.

Thanks for considering me. That'll be $50.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That jewelry is NOT nice. NOT. NICE. AT. ALL.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure Letter A is sexual harassment, but I haven't seen the film "North Country" yet, so I can't say for sure.

8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What, uh... what does that chunk... you know, uh... want?

8:14 AM  
Anonymous The Chunk said...

YOU know what I want.


So give it to me.

8:26 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

I agree, RE: your assessment of Letter A). If she doesn't stop harassing me and jerking me off all the time, I'm going to have to call OSHA.

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Sister Mary O'Flanagan said...

I happen to think that that jewelry IS very nice.

It matches my CLIT RING.

8:29 AM  
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