2/8/06

Aye Aye, My Mouth Be Yer Only Friend

'Tis true, me mateys. I am your only friend in this world. I love and protect you. I give you the comfort of My Mouth on a daily, daily basis. And I ask so little of you. All I ask is for you to guess what's in my mouth right now. It's not even a command. It's yet ANOTHER opportunity, a service I provide for YOU.

GWiMMRN:

A) A hocked up loogie.
B) Grime from underneathe your stove. Yes, YOUR stove.
C) Your hopes n' dreams.
D) That little puppy in the window.
E) A 10 speed Huffy Bike.
F) Pot thtickerth.
G) The gluey stuff what comes out of Mariah Carey's snatch.
H) The supergluey stuff what comes out of a big, fat cock.

UPDATE: It is not I) A telegram from Sheppy that reads, "STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP"

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How much IS that puppy in the window? The one with the waggly tail.

I want to fellate it.

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Asian Guy with a Lisp said...

Preathe to thtop making fun of my curtule'th foodth and plonunthiationth.

You ale not at arr amuthing.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous M. Carey said...

I've often thought of doing free endorsements for the Elmer's Glue Company, you know.

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not going to attempt to decipher what that Aisan guy was saying.

10:09 AM  
Blogger Eugene said...

Have you adjusted your balls today?

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Stanton Sweet said...

I think it was an...ASIAN GANG or something. I think they were...ASIAN!

1:18 PM  
Anonymous Jim Carrey said...

It'th the fun buth!

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Your Landlord said...

CLEAN THE DRIED, BAKED-ON SPOOGE FROM UNDER THAT STOVE OR YOU WON'T GET YOUR SECURITY DEPOSIT BACK!

What the fuck are you making in there? Semen biscuits?

1:23 PM  
Anonymous ProtesTOR said...

Down with Semen! Down with Semen!

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I jerk off into the oven sometimes.

When I'm alone.

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll bet you're alone A LOT.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Philosopher Newport said...

My first bike was a used Huffy. It was an orangish/brown colour. It had a bananna seat. And I hated the way it looked but...I rode that fucker all over Oxford, Ohio throughout 1971-1973.

4:03 AM  
Anonymous Truant Officer of Oxford, OH said...

And I chased that little scalawag all over town, too!

4:22 AM  

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