1/23/06

I'm So Fuckin' Tired on Mondays

And the reason is because I've been working hard, putting the finest ingredients on God's green earth into my mouth. I'm open all day, every day, even on Christmas. Where else do you get that kind of service, except at the 7-11? Nowhere, man. No. Where. So, after giving a brief word of thanks to my mouth, guess what's in it right now:

A) That uncomfortable quandry you're in when you have a painful hemo-ruh-ruh-roid and have to take a shit: do you risk it and spray rectal bleeding all over the bowl, or hold it in?
B) The true origin of the chip butty
C) Eugene's triumphant return to the blogosphere
D) Tu. S. Tin's deep desire to have Wahhh Boohoo speak to her, which will never happen
E) Chicken fingers covered in Panko bread crumbs and fried until GBD (golden brown and delicious)
F) Hume Cronyn's last meal, consisting of undigested tofu, a strawberry-banana yogurt smoothie, bran muffins, and an entire kilo of DOG FECES
G) Hume Cronyn's big, fat cock (sort of)

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am OUTRAGED at that picture. NEVER AGAIN will I click on ANY links on this DISGUSTING and vile website.

Ick, is all I have to say.

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should definitely shit. No doubt, dude.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am looking forward to Eugene's next poem. It'll probably be about jerking off or something.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous J. Tandy said...

Did Hume Cronyn die?

8:50 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Yes, Jessica. Hume's dead.

And so are you. Get back in your grave, vile thing! Avaunt, shade! Urge me no more dismay!

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Old Guy with the Wart on His Dick said...

I wish you guys hadn't linked to that picture of the gigantic wart on my dick.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous H. Cronyn said...

I was okay with dinner until the DOG FECES.

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Chicken said...

GIVE ME BACK MY FINGERS

9:18 AM  
Blogger Ropey the Unlucky Stickfigure Man said...

I have a new cartoon! Check out my website. It's called "High Culture."

9:36 AM  
Anonymous The Col-O-Nel said...

NO. I WILL NOT GIVE YOU BACK YOUR FINGERS.

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you know you can get the word "colon" out of "colonel"?

9:57 AM  
Anonymous The Col-O-Nel said...

Ah say ah say, you CAHN-NOT. Ah say.

I'm full.

10:00 AM  

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