Have a Holly Jolly Bump Day!

Have you shot a load into the mouth of life? Everyone should do it at least once. Of course, I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote that, but it's totally fucking brilliant, like everything else here. Everything. Else. HERE. Anyhoo, it's time to engage in the activity that you're secretly ashamed of but HAVE to do: gWiMmRn:

A) A hot ketchup enema
B) The tiny little fart I heard from the woman in the cubicle next to mine
C) *prrt*
D) The shouted denunciation, "By GOD, Mrs. Haversham! I have put up with the sound and stench of your sickening, wet flatulence long enough! If you do not cease these disgusting antics once and for all, I shall be forced to inform our mutual employer of this OUTRAGE in writing, where it will go into your permanent record for all to see!"
E) A fetus popsicle
F) lola's desire to throw up in the air
G) Larry "Bud" Melman's big, fat cock, pulled ruthlessly from this nice lady's ASSHOLE

UPDATE: The answer is not H) A letter stating, "you suck and here's why." That is NOT the answer.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am NOT looking at that fetus popsicle. NO. WAY.

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear that Hunt's is best for the ketchup enema. At least, that's the word on the street.

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Ms. Haversham said...

That's MS. Haversham to you. And if I hear you jerking off ONE MORE TIME in your cubicle I will report it to the proper authorities.

8:55 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

But Mrs. Haversham, I jerk off thinking about YOU.

And your wet little farts.

9:34 AM  
Anonymous Bruce said...

I prefer store-brand ketchup. It squirts all the way up to my duodenum, and STAYS there.

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am SURE the answer is H. I am SURE. OF. IT.

12:36 PM  

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