12/4/05

Sundays in My Mouth Are the Essence of Holiness

Happy Sunday! Did you know that this year, Christmas will be on Sunday? And we all know that Christmas has more to do with my mouth than with the birth of Christ. Get ready; the miracle of my mouth will be explained in a few short weeks. To tide you over, I have a bomb-diggity collection of things that may be in my mouth, and all you have to do is guess which three of them are in there:

A) The foreskin of the Baby Jesus, kept by a secret Christian sect and venerated by them as the holiest of holies. Once yearly, they collect the cheeselike "Sacred Smegma of the Lord" and consume it with relish
B) A pair of panties made out of cats' tongues
C) A tofu hotdog that tastes EXACTLY like you'd expect shit to taste, except that shit tastes better
D) A slice of tofu hot dog cake, the taste of which is simply indescribable in human language
E) A rectal polyp hot fudge sundae
F) Tory boy's sixth sense
G) The shock and horror Tory boy would experience if he knew that not only were his sexual exploits documented on his lover's blog, but also that they have become a source of amusement for a sick individual who documents the worst things he can think of to put in his mouth
H) Tory boy's big, fat cock (stolen from you-know-who)

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait, is it relish that they eat it with, or do they eat it with great joy, as in they "relish it?" See, the information is vital to guessing.

9:59 AM  
Anonymous Tofu said...

I taste like human flesh.

9:59 AM  
Anonymous V. Secret said...

Uh, what COLOUR are the panties? Do they only come in pink, or can you get them in blue?

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way, the answer is DEFINATELY Letter G.

10:21 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

I will permit you to languish in rhetorical limbo until the Day of Judgment. You will never know what kind of relish I'm talking about.

11:12 AM  
Anonymous Toryboy said...

He's right. I'm not sure which is worse: the shock, or the horror.

The low-hanging jubbblies are nice.

11:12 AM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

That's my secret.

11:35 AM  

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