11/30/05

There's, y'know, like, TOTALLY something in my mouth! Like, right now!

Gag me with a spoon! Can you, like, guess? Y'know? Like, what's, like, in my mouth, y'know, right now?

A) A Valley Girl's postadolescent suhhhh-NATCH, elaborately styled, moussed, and dyed
B) A family of filthy, dirty, unwashed, thieving GYPSIES, a whole goddamn FAMILY of 'em, trapped inside a European Kow Kunt
C) A low, cautious grunt made in the stall of a crowded restroom by someone who doesn't want anyone to know that he's trying to take a shit
D) Uncooked Ramen noodles with extra sodium
E) *nnnnnngh* *plip* *plip* *PLOP* *hhhhhhahhh*
F) A plate of grilled bat penises with a sauce made of a reduction of white wine, butter, shallots, and asparagus piss
G) A nasty, brown, sweat-caked, big, fat GYPSY COCK

11 Comments:

Anonymous The Shy Shit Guy in the Next Stall said...

*whimper* *whimper* *eh* *o* *eh-eh* *whimper*

*plip*

*plip*

*uh* *eh*

*plip*

ooo! that water's cold!

*plip*

*HUAGH!* *ARRRRGH!!* *AH! AH! AH!*

*PLOP*

O. O sweet goodness. O my. O. *huhuhuh*

*ulp*

*huhuhuh*

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How many bats does it take to fill a plate of bat penises?

The answer when we come back in a moment.

12:34 PM  
Anonymous All the other guys in the restroom listening in said...

Holy cow! Did you hear that? THAT GUY'S TAKIN' A SHIT!

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So...it's been a moment, and...well...how many?

Bat penises, that is.

1:24 PM  
Anonymous All the other guys in the restroom listening to the shy shit guy said...

TOUCHDOWN!!!

1:25 PM  
Anonymous After Hearing the Cheers for A Score in Fecal Football, Shy Shit Guy Getting Over His Shyness said...

TOUCHDOWN!

1:35 PM  
Anonymous All the other guys in the restroom listening to the shy shit guy getting over his shyness said...

Hey, let's pull the guy out of the stall with his pants around his ankles and parade him around the whole place, the sick, shit-taking FREAK!

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What...what about the bat penises?

2:02 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Gee, I'm the odd one out by guessing

D. Care to share?

7:34 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Michele:

Don't take this the wrong way, but I've noticed that you tend to guess the most "safe" answer, like popcorn or ramen noodles. This would not be troubling except for the fact that you've admitted that you know that this website pushes the oral envelope into new and surprising shapes, sizes, and tastes. In order to stay within the artificial confines of this oral envelope, I suggest that you walk on the wild side and take a guess outside of your comfort zone.

Sometimes, it just feels good to type, "Okay, I'll guess C) A low, cautious grunt made in the stall of a crowded restroom by someone who doesn't want anyone to know that he's trying to take a shit."

Go on, try it. You'll thank me later.

As always, your input in the form of educated guesses is not only welcome, but even vital to the integrity of this website.

4:04 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

TOUCHDOWN!!!!!

10:15 AM  

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