Put Down That Bucket of Pubes and GWiMMRN!
YEEEEHAWWWW! That's right, pardners! Saddle up on Teethsday and ride 'til all you see are uvulas on the horizon! Comfy? Great! Now guess!
A) Harmaceuticals, such as heroin and crack cocaine.
B) Spermaceuticals, which need no explanation.
C) Cuticles, not mine.
D) The lil' critters livin' in my pubic follicles.
E) A vicious whiff of mustard.
F) The false hope that the word "rugose" was retired when Lovecraft died.
G) A yellowed copy of The Lord's Prayer as written in shorthand.
H) H.P. Lovecraft's Cthuloid Cock.
A) Harmaceuticals, such as heroin and crack cocaine.
B) Spermaceuticals, which need no explanation.
C) Cuticles, not mine.
D) The lil' critters livin' in my pubic follicles.
E) A vicious whiff of mustard.
F) The false hope that the word "rugose" was retired when Lovecraft died.
G) A yellowed copy of The Lord's Prayer as written in shorthand.
H) H.P. Lovecraft's Cthuloid Cock.
posted by My Mouth at 7:36 AM
12 Comments:
I am not dead. I live on, growing more rugose by the moment.
I pray you, could you please explain to me the nature of the "spermaceuticals" of which you speak?
O! Why did I paint Lovecraft, such that he came back, much like the foul, ancient denizens of the underworld which made their horrific return in the story, "Pickman's Model?" Get back, you Shadow Out of Time! Go back to Australia, where cities of geometrically impossible architecture that house the frightening Elders blah blah blah!
Get back yourself, you corpse-eating foulness! Return to your cemetery, ghoul!
Blah blah blah, Mr. Lovecraft! Blah blah blah!
Look; I'm smelling popcorn again. Really. It's really, really strong this time. Do you smell that? It's driving me nuts, this smell.
YOUR POPCORN WAITS WITH ME IN R'LYEH, O SEEKER
Put plenty of E in thy mouth, dude. Only a man can handle hot mustard...Cajun style!! Woohoo...That and crawfish..oops not one of the choices...it's good in thy mouth anyway...chomp, chomp!
No, it's DEFINATELY not mustard I smelled. DEFINATELY not. It was popcorn. It's gone now, thank goodness.
Crawfish are NOT in my mouth. NOT. You must select from the choices provided.
Popcorn's not in there, either.
Hey, I did say E in your mouth...Crayfish were wishful thinking..and HEY, whats wrong with crawfish???
Oh wait, you a Lobsta' mon???
eh, mustard is enough.
Not on popcorn...oh, but pretzels? oh yea!
I KNOW they're not in your mouth, but they should be.
You may be laboring under a certain misapprehension here, Michele. I don't take requests. I don't have an independent existence upon which you can make basic assumptions. I am simply the mouth upon which you must focus and devote your attentions to.
As the Hindu might say, I am Brahman, of which the entire universe is made. Gods, angels, demons, grains of sand, raped cherry pies: all are in my mouth, have been in my mouth, and will be in my mouth again.
All you have to do is guess what's in my mouth right now. No arguments will be brooked. No discussions of what should be in there, or should NOT be in there will be held on this website.
I hope I've made myself clear. I really do have your best interests at heart, Michele. I know that if you guess what's in my mouth right now, you'll be happy.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to future guesses.
Oh, I almost forgot. I won't be putting in the thin, spermless semen occasionally permitted to escape from Ashton Kutcher's horribly abused penis. NEVER. Not once.
Post a Comment
<< Home