Mondays SUCK Except When They're in My Mouth

In which case, they're simply wonderful. In addition to Monday, what else is in my mouth?

A) Peace on Earth and goodwill toward men
B) A piece of wet, flyblown shit found in the last stall of the men's room of the Goodwill down the street, glistening with rectal blood
C) lola's flangy potting shed
D) lola's pastrami-looking massafologooggo facial growth
E) The sick, sinking feeling many decent, hard-working poor families will experience when they look at this month's heating bill and realize that they'll have to suck a lot more dick on the corner of Front and Seventh to pay it
F) The sick, sinking feeling that any decent person would experience upon reading this heartless description of poverty
G) A live parrot without its beak that needs to be dunked headfirst into a cup of water if it wants to drink
H) *blub burble blub*
I) A big, fat cock with a parrot on it


Blogger Michele said...

I thought "I" was a joke. Where did you find that?!! No..don't tell me, I really don't want to know..
Hey, if you want THAT in your mouth..go right ahead...bon apetite ....

Place that and E into thy mouth...you'll be too full to talk for awhile ...ack.

*bangs head on keyboard*

9:11 AM  
Anonymous Poor Person said...

*ghaal* *ghal* urkpl* tell me about it *ghaal* *urpl* huhuhgh*

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright. That's it. I will never look at another picture from rotten.com. In the future, I will wave the mouse-pointer over the linked url, and find out where it comes from before clicking on it.

A parrot sitting on an erect cock. That's just wrong.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Polly Parrot said...

It wasn't so bad. He gave me a cracker, after.

11:14 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

If you don't look at the pictures, you're just wrong. You're not doing the right thing. How can you guess what's in my mouth right now if you can't see it when a picture's offered?

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Beakless Parrot said...

*blub burble blub*

11:17 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...


"I" is most definitely not a joke, nor is any of the rest of it. Remember: I don't do this for your amusement. I inform you about my mouth's potential contents because this knowledge will help you become a better person. If this knowledge includes a picture that you may find funny or uncomfortable, make sure you can get over such transitory feelings.

We're after a higher truth here. Where I obtained the photo is immaterial. What is in my mouth is important.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait, is the cock erect BECAUSE the parrot is on it, or did it become erect AFTER-WARDS? See, it's important to know so that I may guess correctly.

12:38 PM  
Anonymous Polly Parrot said...

He had an erection, and then enticed me into landing on it. It proved to be quite a comfortable little perch, for the short time he let me sit there.

It wasn't sexual or anything. And he DID give me a cracker. I mean, I don't FEEL used. I'm not a whore!

1:05 PM  

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