I LOVE Mondays!

Especially the Mondays where I get to put something in my mouth. That's every Monday. So, do the math. Don't do yourself in the bath. In between wanks, feel free to guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) Indian corn
B) Circus peanuts
C) Circus penis (clown cock)
D) The Christmas stocking used by a filthy, mentally-deficient homeless man as a shotrag for the past month, repurposed as YOUR Christmas stocking, yes YOURS, so when Santa puts treats into it late Saturday night, he'll wind up with a handful of goo
E) The horrible thoughts of animal pedophilia that constantly plague the fevered mind of this surprised looking turd
F) The simple fact that I have no idea who the poor man is in this photo, and that he's been the target of horrible ridicule for months just because he had the bad sense to put his photo up on the internet so I could see it
G) A mash of Wonka cakes and old spooch chewed between the cheeks of Oprah Winfrey's accomodating ass and spat out all over a fairy princess
H) A big, fat...

Wait for it...

Here it comes...



Anonymous Anonymous said...


8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't understand. How did the goo stay wet all this time? How did it not harden?

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Glenhilda, the Faery Princess said...

I've never been more humiliated in all my life.


8:32 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

The miracle of Christmas, my son.

8:32 AM  
Anonymous This Surprised Looking Turd said...

I've never been more humiliated in all my life, either.


8:33 AM  
Anonymous Starwilde, The Majikal Unicorn said...

Come, Glenhilda. Bend and spread thy cheeks, for my majestic horn has an appointment with your pink, puckered anus.

Have you seen the fluffy little kitty anywhere?

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Starchunks, The Decidedly UnMajikal Unabomber Unicorn said...

My pastel coloured existence cries for the cushy cheeks of John Tesh. Stand with your hands on the floor so that I may puncture thee, you carmelized cock-muffins.

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Starwilde, The Majikal Unicorn said...

Get thee hence, Starchunks, before I place my pearlescent horn in a place thou wilt not forget.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Michele said...

C Grossed me out..so I won't chose C for your mouth.

A...A was Great! Until it scared the crap outta me when the drums started. Criminy! You should warn your mouth before you open.
Corn is good, but Dayam! I lost a kernal there.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Tonto said...

War drums. Be not scared, white woman. They only want your scalp.

And suuuuuuuh-NATCH.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Hey, white man introduced scalping...
Sex..well, EVERYONE has a hand in that

5:38 AM  

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