GWiMMRN: Monday Atonement Edition

Readers of this blog may have been turned off by the horrible things written here in recent days, so when the guilt for putting truly sickening things in my mouth gets too great, I feel I must atone for my sins and only put nice, delightful things into it. This is one of those days. No making fun of beloved children's books, other cultures, religio-sexual scandals, or anything at all like that. It's an easy day for you, my mouth, and what may be in it. So, guess:

A) A rainbow on a cool spring afternoon after a light rain
B) The gossamer wings of guardian angels
C) The low jingle of an ice cream truck trundling down the street in the summer
D) A nice slice of banana cream pie with choccy sprinkles on top
E) Fresh cherry tomatoes picked off the vine, tasting of sunshine
F) A big, fat cock A pug dog with shining black eyes and a cute little wrinkly face

UPDATE: Many people have emailed me, asking about letter G) A hand-made hot dog bun containing a large, bloody penis that had been bitten off by a nine-year-old, smothered in cat diarrhea and garnished with the thick gob of brownish-yellow mucus coughed up by a dying octogenarian with pancreatitis. STOP EMAILING ME ABOUT IT. Nice things only on this post. NICE things. Bitten-off penises, cat shit, and snot don't make the grade.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

*cough* *cough* ow ouch ooo *cough* *cough*

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like cherry tomatoes.

8:22 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

I want you to know that these updates are to be read with as much care as the choices initially proffered. The updates are mainly for your edification and I take GREAT care in being as current as I can.

8:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about the adorable little ass hairs clinging to the fries up Helen Thomas's crunt? Are THEY in there?

4:14 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Whoa! I didn't think you had it in you!!

You know what? Wierd as this is...I don't mind the slightly off color and tacky but Outer Limits meets A.D.Clay with a side of Liberace things you can get about.
So I'll go with C.
I used to chase it. Did your mouth ever catch it?

7:34 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Yes, once.

And then the ice cream man rogered me with a bomb pop until my colon got frostbite while making me sing the 29th Psalm in a Sting-like falsetto voice.

Thanks for making me relive that experience.

4:33 AM  
Anonymous Flap Flap FlapFlap said...



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flapflapflapflapflapflapflap, flap!

4:58 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Ah! ye ol' Jolly Roger...

6:10 PM  

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