12/11/05

A Bouncy, Flouncy Otterballicious Sunday to You All!

Good morning to all who have come to worship at the foot of my mouth this holy Sunday. Well, if my mouth HAD feet, you'd be worshiping at them. This is not to say that you'd be worshiping my mouth's notional feet, but rather you'd be worshiping my mouth and the potential contents of it. I hope that's clear. Remember: not the feet, but the mouth. In order to properly do that, you have to guess what's in my mouth right now:

A) The sweaty underside of Giada DiLaurentis's gigantic breasts, warm and sticky with Emeril Lagasse's cock-snot
B) The wooden railing in the vestry that every altar boy has to bite down on to keep from squealing as the Holy Father performs that holiest of holy rites: the Recitation of the 12th Psalm and Ritualized Ass-Rape for the Lord Your God After Services
C) A baby tooth with a string of bloody gristle still clinging to the root
D) The vaguely uncomfortable feeling that I may have finally crossed the line here, tasting a little like licorice and onions
E) Giada DiLaurentis's huge head, way out of proportion to her gigantic, spooged-on teats and small body that you just want to pick up and jerk off with and then throw away like a kleenex
F) Bela Lugosi, who would never ever make it into vampire soft-porn because he's dead and was pretty fugly when alive
G) Emeril Lugosi's big, fat cock

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone either keeps moving the line forward, or it's been crossed and the line is about 100 miles behind.

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My toof! My toof! You found my toof! Gimme gimme gimme!

12:16 PM  
Anonymous H. Father said...

Not until I'm done.

*ngh ngh*

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is an abomination. You must ask Aslan for forgiveness.

12:49 PM  
Anonymous E. Lagasse said...

Oh, Giada! Your huge head and big funbags just make me want to shoot hot, Portuguese cock-snot all over ya!

Bam! Bam!

*ngh ngh*

BAM!

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Giada DeLaurentis said...

Stop it. All of you, just stop it.

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Giada!

Spermarang!

TOUCHDOWN!!!!

3:29 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Don't make me pick you up and jerk off with you again, Giada.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

F !!! F !!

Really! You only saw him as Dracula when he was in his late 40's ..did you ever have him in your mouth when he was 20 or 25???
Hot Tomale!!! Woohoo..your mouth would be H.A.P.P.Y.
(if you were, you know, kinda into that )

7:28 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Bela didn't do it for me, not even in his 20's. The motherfucker smelled like B.O., garlic, and old paprika even after a shower.

5:32 AM  
Blogger Michele said...

Oh, well he was an early commie too
AND he sang opera.
And, yeah, you wouldn't want him in your mouth...lots and LOTS of ladies all over Europe had him first...he was THAT good!!!

7:28 PM  

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