12/10/05

The Only Good Saturday...

Is a Saturday in my mouth. All right: enough with the bullshit. Just guess what's in there right now:

A) A "Frosty Paws" ice cream dog treat, purchased and eaten without knowing it was a dog treat until after someone else pointed it out later
B) The complex mixture of shame, amusement, and self-loathing that ensued upon hearing the news
C) The dog's asshole I tried to suck on later as a consequence of ingesting chemicals not meant for human consumption
D) Lori Bakker's grunts of intense delight as her pool boy rogers her with a dildo the size of a Samoan baby's forearm
E) Eggnog cookies, six dozen of 'em
F) "All of those horrible, slimy things...trying to get back in." (Bonus points if you can guess the movie)
G) The terrible thing I did to that old woman that time that she has never forgotten and never will
H) Jackson Harglow's big, fat cock

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What flavor was the ice cream? What did it taste like? You're like a dogmanaut, exploring the farthest reaches of life, like a dog in a space capsule.

You should also be very, very ashamed of yourself.

Sicko.

12:02 PM  
Anonymous H. Thomas said...

That's right, you sonofabitch! And get these fries outta my crunt!

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell is intense delight? And can it be anything but a grunt? Can it be a giggle of intense delight?

12:03 PM  
Anonymous L. Bakker said...

You'll never know until you're there with the dildo and the pool boy.

I usually like to look in the mirror during these episodes so I can sharpen my malevolent gaze.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous A. Samoan said...

You are all racists, especially Lori Bakker!

Can I have some of those fries?

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Margaret Mead said...

Are you coming of age, A. Samoan?

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what flavor was the Frosty Paws? Was it Beefilicious or Chickin'n'Cheese?

3:17 PM  
Blogger flapflapflap said...

FLAP!

3:18 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Aw!, I blush choosing E.

I like G today though...because G starts the word "giggle" and I was doing that thinking about G in your mouth....so..G(iggle)

You have SUCH a happy mouth

7:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*blorp* SHARK! SHARK!

8:22 AM  

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