There Are Things...

...in my mouth. Yes, there are! All kinds of things! They're in there right now, as a matter of fact! Any idea what these things are? Well, they're at least one of the things listed below, if not two or even three:

A) Liquid paper poured all over my waggling tongue
B) The large, pink nipples adorning lola's low-hanging jubbblies
C) Some truly appalling poetry about a diner, angst-filled and trite
D) A frilly toothpick, covered in oleoresin capsicum and inserted in the urethra of lola's ex
E) The adorable little ass hairs stuck in between George Washington's wooden false teeth
F) The adorable little snatch hairs concealing this rugose delectation
G) The word "rugose," previously only seen in the Lovecraft short story, The Shadow Out of Time
H) The Great Race of Yith, all of 'em
I) Shifty McPenis's foightin' Oirish cohck

UPDATE: The answer is not J) The thin, spermless semen occasionally permitted to escape from Ashton Kutcher's horribly abused penis. That will never go in my mouth, ever.


Blogger My Mouth said...

On Letter J: I have principles and a line that will not be crossed.

7:36 AM  
Blogger Shifty McPenis (Deceased) said...

AyE! tHEM'S FoiTIn' woirds!

Now, if ou'll 'scuse me, oive got some cohcks to steal!

hee hee! ou'll nev'r catch me, lads and lassies!

8:08 AM  
Anonymous A. Kutcher said...

I know I'll be shooting my thin, spermless semen into you SOME day, mouth.

*ring ring*

8:35 AM  
Anonymous rugose said...

Don't bury me! I'm not dead!

10:35 AM  
Anonymous The adorable little ass hairs stuck in between George Washington's wooden false teeth said...

Don't bury us, either!

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Martha Washington said...

Give me back my pubes, you wooden toothed demon of a husband!

12:52 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Whoa,, E, huh? Thanks to thee!!!
Looks great in thy mouth, Sirra Mouth...Aye, tis a gud t'ing ta 'ave E in thy mooth.

I am SO glad we no longer talk Elizabethan....ack!

3:15 PM  

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