10/9/06

GWiMMRN, Columbus Day Rocks My Ball Sac Edition

It's a SAC, not a SACK. You put your balls in a SAC, and you use a SACK to stuff stuff in. Fucking moron. I don't know how many times I have to tell you.

Jesus.

Q.

Fucknuts.

GWiMMRn:

A) Christopher "Feces Nibbler" Columbus
B) The Knights of Columbus
C) That chick in that Christopher Columbus movie with the most amazing tits you've ever seen they're like the fucking archetype of what tits should be
D) Gold
E) The fact that if it wasn't for Christopher "Poop Licker" Columbus, we wouldn't even be in this cunt-lapping society to begin with
F) Leif Erickson's unending, injustice-fueled rage from beyond the grave
G) The reason why people went to the New World in the first place

Update:



*ssssssppppurrrttttttt!!!*

20 Comments:

Anonymous Guy with Saline Inflated Ball SACK said...

It's ball SACK. It is a sack to stuff my testicles in. And I artificially inflated them to immense proportions with saline. Then, as a topper, I had my fruity friends paint yellow and blue/green peace symbols whilst I stare whistfully towards the horizon, like General Macarthur stared down the barrel of the Korean Konflict and didn't bat an eye.

HUH!

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Girl with the Iconic Tits said...

We prefer our tits to be called Native American Tits, thank you very much.

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Guy Jerking It to the Christopher Columbus Movie Who Somehow Got a Hold of the Intercom System said...

*ssssppppuuurrrtttt!*

ATTENTION WAL-MART ASSOCIATES. CLEAN UP IN THE ELECTRONICS DEPARTMENT.

*sssssppppuuurrrrtttt!!*

ATTENTION ALL AVAILABLE WAL-MART ASSOCIATES. BETTER BRING A MOP AND A BUCKET.

8:01 AM  
Anonymous Lief Ericksson said...

Fucking Italians.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I jerk it to the Christopher Columbus movie sometimes.

When I'm alone.

The problem is that I always end up with at least a little bit of blood in the ejaculate, and I'd rather not be alone when that happens.

It's better to have an audience.

*SSSSPPURRTT!!*

See? A lot of blood there, with just a little spooge. And it hurt.

8:51 AM  
Anonymous The Guy Who Got Bricked Up said...

MONTRESOR!

MONTRESOR!

DON'T WALL ME UP WITH THE BUSHBUCK'S STINKY PENIS!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONSTRESOR!

THE FUMES!!

*gag*

*ssspurrrtt...*

Oh, God...no semen, only blood.

Montresor...at least...

At least get me a mop and bucket...

And a soapy sponge...

*grgl*

8:57 AM  
Blogger Tu s. Tin said...

sorry I'm not foucusing again...
lief... I am Italian and swedish... so.... can I personally take credit for discoving the new world.

9:13 AM  
Anonymous The Guy in that Movie Who Was Really Cold said...

Get me a jacket!

Or at least let me bury my face in those awe-inspiring bosoms!

*blorrppp*

Shark! Shark!

Sorry. The cold is making me nauseous.

*BBBBLOOORRRRRPPP!!!*

God. It's horrible. I never throw up like this.

*SSSPPPPPEEEWWWW!*

Ugh. Sorry.

*tp* *tp*

Hey, I didn't have any M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C. this morning. Why...

*tp* *tp* *tp*

*URRRNNGHHHBLORRPPP!*

Ew. Man. Why does it taste like M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C., that pussy-flavored drink that you add milk to like Ovaltine in my mouth?

*tp* *tp*

*tp*

*OHHHGODDDBBBBBBBLORRRPP!*

*tp*

Definitely tastes like M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C.

*tp* *tp* *tp* *tp*

Yeah.

I don't feel so good.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't feel so good, either.

You're pretty sick, you know that?

You really are fucked in the head.

What kind of sick, demented, troubled mind would come up with this kind of thing?

I mean, what's the matter with you?

Huh?

What's WRONG with you?

You've lost a reader.

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just cut it the fuck out with the "you've lost a reader" shit already.

Like you don't fucking come back here once or twice an hour to read it and see what else you can get offended by, you M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C.-drinking fuckwad.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Tu s. Tin said...

bye bye lost reader....
I hope this is not a battle with one of your own personalities mouth.
Is it getting crowded in there?
spit or swollow man and get it over with.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*URRRNNGHHHBLORRPPP!* may be the most disgusting thing ever written on this abomination of a website.

It's so filled with the violence of puking. It's like the vomit was some Satanic entity and burst from the stomach with the force of a hurricane. That it was written in all caps and had an exclamation point at the end of it made it all the worse.

It really brings some bile to my throat.

*tp* *tp*

Yup. Definitely bile.

10:53 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Dear tu s. tin,

It is better to have focused and lost than to never have focused at all.

Sincerely yours,

My Mouth

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to point out that I have never, nor have I ever heard someone go:

*SSSPPPPPEEEWWWW!*

When they threw up.

It just doesn't happen like that. I'd appreciate it if you would make your comments more REALISTIC.

I would say, "Thank you," but I have no feelings of gratitude towards those who read this comment.

fffffffffuckfffffface.

12:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That had 15 f's in it.

That last comment.

And I am very grateful that I'm allowed to participate in this great blog.

THANK YOU.

And I thank you for him, also.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous The Vomit Club President, John SSSPPPPPEEEWWWW said...

I am here to disagree with that one commenter who suggested that *SSSPPPPPEEEWWWW!* is not a real vomit sound.

I'm here to tell you that it is.

It really is.

And I will prove it, by vomiting right now.

*SSSPPPPPEEEWWWW!*

See?

1:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't argue with that.

It's science.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish you would just stop it with the blood in the ejaculate, the M.U.L.T.U.M.E.S.C. thing, the stinky bushbuck penis, and all the rest of it.

None of it is at all funny, or cute.

heeheeheeheeheehee!

:)

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, let's just agree to disagree, eh ffffffffffffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffuckffffff
fffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffffffff
fffffffffffface?

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Christopher Columbus said...

By the way, I hope everyone recognizes my maturity in not rising to the bait of the sick fuck who thinks it's cute or funny to put "Poop Licker" and whatnot as my middle name.

I'm very mature. You have to be if you want to discover America.

Because exploreres have to be grown up to face the difficulties in discovering new places.

For instance, what if I went to the New World and I wasn't mature? Why, I would be fixated on those Native Americans' absolutely stunning, one-of-a-kind, pseudo-religious experience, *spurrrrt!*eriffic tits.

But I'm NOT fixated. That makes me mature. Much more mature than the asshole who keeps calling me "feces nibbler."

3:01 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home