GWiMMRN, Spanking the Owl on Monday Edition
When you see an owl, spank it. If you should meet the Buddha on the road, rape him. That's right: ride that fat fuck like he was Ned Beatty in a pig costume. "Weeee, weeee!" *ungh ungh ungh* "Weee, weee!"
None of this has anything to do with guessing what's in my mouth right now. That whole preamble was a test to see if you were FOCUSING. FOCUS. MY MOUTH. CAPITAL LETTERS. Guess:
A) A freshly-spanked owl
B) Sheppy's twin brother
C) A momentary obsession with a life-giving substance
D) The crumbs from Thursday's lunch that the cleaning crew neglected to brush off of my desk
E) Nutella
F) The spooge from President Clinton's blowjob that Monica "Dinglechomper" Lewinsky neglected to wash out of her dress
G) The fervent hope that this website comes up at #1 when people do Google searches on CAT SHIT
H) A CAT SHIT cookie cutter
I) The words, "Dogs like to eat cat shit."
J) The FACT that cats DON'T like to eat DOG SHIT
K) A big, fat, neglected cock
None of this has anything to do with guessing what's in my mouth right now. That whole preamble was a test to see if you were FOCUSING. FOCUS. MY MOUTH. CAPITAL LETTERS. Guess:
A) A freshly-spanked owl
B) Sheppy's twin brother
C) A momentary obsession with a life-giving substance
D) The crumbs from Thursday's lunch that the cleaning crew neglected to brush off of my desk
E) Nutella
F) The spooge from President Clinton's blowjob that Monica "Dinglechomper" Lewinsky neglected to wash out of her dress
G) The fervent hope that this website comes up at #1 when people do Google searches on CAT SHIT
H) A CAT SHIT cookie cutter
I) The words, "Dogs like to eat cat shit."
J) The FACT that cats DON'T like to eat DOG SHIT
K) A big, fat, neglected cock
posted by My Mouth at 8:20 AM
17 Comments:
Uh, EXCUSE me! But that OWL did NOT look like it was spanked enough! Hello!? Anybody hoooome?
ooooo! I love Nutella! But the American version is far inferior to the ones made in Europe. I've tested this out. The ones made in Poland, Romania, Germany and other places are far better.
I TOLD YOU TO STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT ALREADY.
My UPS # is SUQMYDIQ
Thank you.
That owl looked decidedly unhappy. I suspect he had a reasonable enough spanking.
What's the taste difference between American and European Nutella?
Other than the lack of CAT SHIT.
UPS called. They said they don't deliver CAT SHIT.
And, they said, there are no NUMBERS in your UPS#: SUQMYDIQ.
F.Y.I.
The taste difference is that the Europeein' version is nuttier with a stronger chocolate taste.
The American version is 100% CAT SHIT.
That's because my NUTS are in it!
That's some funny shit, huh?
I'm kind of disappointed that cats don't like to eat dog shit. The lack of reciprocity there is pretty hurtful, you know?
Eat me, too!
Is there really a spy organization called c.a.t.s.h.i.t.?
Alright. First it was the popcorn. Now there's a BABY CRYING. Does anybody hear that? The baby crying?
It's drivin' me NUTELLA.
Yes, there is.
It stands for Covert And Totally Secret Haters of International Terrorism.
CAT SHIT.
I don't think this CAT SHIT thing will blow over any time soon.
I'm kind of hoping it will.
CAT SHIT.
It won't.
CAT SHIT.
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