4/3/06

GWiMMRN, Spanking the Owl on Monday Edition

When you see an owl, spank it. If you should meet the Buddha on the road, rape him. That's right: ride that fat fuck like he was Ned Beatty in a pig costume. "Weeee, weeee!" *ungh ungh ungh* "Weee, weee!"

None of this has anything to do with guessing what's in my mouth right now. That whole preamble was a test to see if you were FOCUSING. FOCUS. MY MOUTH. CAPITAL LETTERS. Guess:

A) A freshly-spanked owl
B) Sheppy's twin brother
C) A momentary obsession with a life-giving substance
D) The crumbs from Thursday's lunch that the cleaning crew neglected to brush off of my desk
E) Nutella
F) The spooge from President Clinton's blowjob that Monica "Dinglechomper" Lewinsky neglected to wash out of her dress
G) The fervent hope that this website comes up at #1 when people do Google searches on CAT SHIT
H) A CAT SHIT cookie cutter
I) The words, "Dogs like to eat cat shit."
J) The FACT that cats DON'T like to eat DOG SHIT
K) A big, fat, neglected cock

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh, EXCUSE me! But that OWL did NOT look like it was spanked enough! Hello!? Anybody hoooome?

8:44 AM  
Anonymous CAT SHIT said...

CAT SHIT I'LL SAY CAT SHIT ANYTIME I DAMN WELL PLEASE CAT SHIT CAT SHIT CAT SHIT.

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooooo! I love Nutella! But the American version is far inferior to the ones made in Europe. I've tested this out. The ones made in Poland, Romania, Germany and other places are far better.

8:55 AM  
Anonymous The Shepster said...

I TOLD YOU TO STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT ALREADY.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SEND ME YOUR UPS # STOP I NEED TO FORWARD YOU SOME CAT SHIT STOP THEY ARE CUT INTO FUNNY SHAPES BY A CAT SHIT CUTTER STOP

9:03 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

My UPS # is SUQMYDIQ

Thank you.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Owl Spanker said...

That owl looked decidedly unhappy. I suspect he had a reasonable enough spanking.

9:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's the taste difference between American and European Nutella?

Other than the lack of CAT SHIT.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

UPS called. They said they don't deliver CAT SHIT.

And, they said, there are no NUMBERS in your UPS#: SUQMYDIQ.

F.Y.I.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The taste difference is that the Europeein' version is nuttier with a stronger chocolate taste.

The American version is 100% CAT SHIT.

10:53 AM  
Anonymous Nutella Man said...

That's because my NUTS are in it!

That's some funny shit, huh?

11:01 AM  
Anonymous The Man from C.A.T.S.H.I.T. said...

CAT SHIT.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous A. Dog said...

I'm kind of disappointed that cats don't like to eat dog shit. The lack of reciprocity there is pretty hurtful, you know?

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Dog Shit said...

Eat me, too!

12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there really a spy organization called c.a.t.s.h.i.t.?

12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright. First it was the popcorn. Now there's a BABY CRYING. Does anybody hear that? The baby crying?

It's drivin' me NUTELLA.

12:56 PM  
Anonymous Baby Partially Submerged in American Nutella (100% CAT SHIT) said...

goo

1:09 PM  
Anonymous The Man from C.A.T.S.H.I.T. said...

Yes, there is.

It stands for Covert And Totally Secret Haters of International Terrorism.

CAT SHIT.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...

Cuh-cuh-c-c-c-c-cuhh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-caaaah-cuhh-hat shhh-shhh-shhh!-shhhhuhh-shuhhhhh-shit.

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you got a whole MOUTHFULL of cat shit, there, Casius!

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think this CAT SHIT thing will blow over any time soon.

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm kind of hoping it will.

CAT SHIT.

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It won't.

CAT SHIT.

3:59 PM  

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