3/29/06

Kicking It Up a Snotch

All-righty, folks. Seeing as you were too fucking RETARDED (to use Morgan Spurlock's lovely term for the mentally deficient) to FOCUS, I'm no longer going to try to dumb it down for you. I'm kicking it up. I'm using elevated diction. I'm using BIG WORDS. I'm PUTTING THINGS. INTO MY MOUTH. Can you guess what these things may be?

A) The great state of Ohio's most famous and beloved export, the Cleveland Steamer
B) A blast from the past going way into the future: watermellon bubblisious
C) Sheppy's favorite drink: a cold cup of Phyllis Diller's rectal mucus with a hot, slobbery peach pit as a garnish (IT'LL NEVER BE OVER FOR YOU SHEPPY, NO FUCKING WAY JOSE)
D) The fact that this surprised looking turd comes up as the 3rd choice when you do a google search on "surprised looking turd"
E) The horrible notion that this website may indeed be singlehandedly coarsening the entire English language through the spreading of terms like "this surprised looking turd," "watermellon bubblisious," "cocoa plunger," and, perhaps most horribly, "Abner Louima cocoa plunger"
F) "Ohhhhhhh, boy" which is what Abner Louima claims to have said when they rammed the plunger in
G) Lemon bars
H) Political asylum
I) A big, fat surprised looking cock

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The horrors of this website never cease to horrify me. You are single-handedly DESTROYING the INTEGRITY of the INTERnet.

STOP it. Stop IT.

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Sheppy said...

Yeah. I agree with that last guy. Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop.

It.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll bet that guy never thought that he would be the poster child for surprised looking turds.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the gooood steamship CLEEEEVELAND, it's a niiiice trip to the TOIIIILET were the cocoa plungers plllaayyyy!

8:39 AM  
Blogger Stink Fartindale said...

I know that tune! It's "Shut the Fuck Up," which should have performed by YOU, you stupid chest-sucker!

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And to think that I TRUSTED Morgan Spurlock to tell the truth! Is it true what he said about Indians, Mexicans, and the mentally challenged? Is it TRUE? Oh hah hah hahhh! Booo hooo! I'm SAAAD! WAAAHHH!

It's like he gave a big ol' Cleveland Steamer to his followers and said, see ya, you fucking retards!

This is a sad day in American history.

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Stanley Steamer said...

I really hate the fact that my brother Cleve's name is used to describe a disgusting sexual act.

9:26 AM  
Anonymous Tommy Trombone said...

YOU feel bad?!? I got a brother Rusty, you know?

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doesn't ANYONE want to talk about Morgan Spurlock giving his fans the ol' Cleveland steamer? Huh?

10:55 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

No.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...

Yuh-yuh-y-y-y-y-yuhh-you shh-shh-shhhhh-sh!-shoulduh-shouldn't muh-muh-muh-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-make fuh-fff-fff-ffffff-fff!-fuhh-hun uh-uh-of Aaaah-aaah-abuh-abner luh-luh-luhh-hike thuh-thuh-thuhhhh-that.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh uh uh ok. Luh-luh-let's make fuh-fuh-fuh-fun of you, you mumbling stuttering prick.

12:31 PM  
Blogger Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...

Fuhhh-ffff-ffff!!!-ffff-fuhh-huhhhck yuh-yuh-yuh-yyyy-you!

Uh-uh-uhh-uhhhh-i duh-duh-duh-d-d-d-don't hahh-hah-haha-have tuh-tuh-tuh-to tuh-huh-tuh-tuhh-take thuh-thuh-thhhh-thhhh-thhh!-thuhh-this shh-shhh-shhh-shihhh-shit.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're a regular on the Cleveland Steamer, ain't ya, ya donkey sucking stutter-bug?

Luh-luh-look at me, I-i-i-i!!-i'm a buh-buh-bocks-cks-cks-boxer! Ding ding! Is that the starting bell or is it time to eat? DUHHH. DUHHHH.

Fucking RETART.

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, maybe you oughta lay off of Casius over there. He looks like he's been through enough.

1:52 PM  

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