Bonus Boners!

For YOU, my dear!


A) A verrry surreptitious ball scratching using the liner of my front pants pocket.
B) The glee that I feel that I can hide my cute lil' secret.
C) The punchline, "I don't think my ass can stand another hard roll."
D) A baby elephant's trunk, repurposed as a penis implant.
E) A funny lookin' baby elephant who is missing a trunk.
F) A three-headed baby's first words: "sister," "brother," "accidental penis grab while reaching for the remote control."
G) A big, fat, prehensile, baby elephant trunk sized cock.

UPDATE: The answer may now be H) The local weather report, which says that tomorrow will be chocolate ice cream with a 60% chance of rainbow sprinkles.


Anonymous Baby Elephant said...

It's not easy eating peanuts when some sick old man steals your trunk for a penis implant, I'll tell you what.

CeLeBrAtE mY tRuNkLeSs DiVeRsItY!

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Dr. Spock, Noted Pediatrician said...

I find that letter F) strains the boundaries of credulity.

Live long, and prosper.

And the next one who smiles around here gets a boot up the poop-chute, comprende?


8:28 AM  
Anonymous Female passerby said...

Did you see that? That man was scratching his balls! In public! And smiling!

I'm calling the police.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Old Man with Hard Rolls up His Ass said...

Please don't take my penis!


8:31 AM  
Anonymous Baby Elephant said...


9:37 AM  
Anonymous Ball Scratcheroo said...

Hee hee!

Have you seen Meg Ryan's hairy lil' snatcheroo lately?

I'd... I'd like to surreptitiously scratch it. If... if she'd let me, that is.

9:39 AM  
Anonymous M. Ryan said...

Unfortunately for you, I have found the time to contradict all of these false statements, unlike my greatest friend and fellow dick-cheese fondue eater Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN.

You may not, I repeat, NOT refer to my privates as "Meg Ryan's hairy lil' snatcheroo."

You may call them "Meg Ryan's Ting-Ting," or, if you are feeling particularly whimsical, my private parts may be referred to as, "Meg Ryan's Ever-Cock-Hungry Tuna Taco With Extra SUHHHHH-NATCH Hair."

And even if you were to call my Ting-Ting by its proper name, I would NOT allow you to scratch it, not even for an instant. My Ever-Cock-Hungry Tuna Taco With Extra SUHHHHH-NATCH Hair belongs to Señor Chip Butty and Señor Chip Butty only.

He sings all the hits. He's internationale.


Meg Ryan

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Your Cute Lil' Secret said...

Don't hide me! Celebrate my di- oh, fuck it.

kill me

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Baby Elephant with Verrry Itchy Balls said...

I wish I had a front pants pocket.

Or pants.

9:59 AM  
Blogger Señor Chip Butty said...

Hey, mang! Señorita Meg, she got a muy hairy tuna taco, mang!

Como estas, bbbbrrrrooooooooo?


2:00 PM  
Anonymous SASCPFC said...



3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh boy!

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm actually pretty happy about H).

4:42 PM  

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