Maybe I Was a Little Hard on You All...
But it's only because I know you can do better. Say it with me: "I CAN. I-" Oh, never fucking mind. Dealing with you people is like trying to corral seventeen chimpanzees all trying to fuck the same football at once. Just GWiMMRN:
A) Sheryl Crow's tiny, sweaty, squinchy tits
B) Lance Armstrong's horribly swollen nutsack
C) Lance and Sheryl's swollen, squinchy breakup
D) The fountain pen Armstrong's doctor undoubtedly used on Lance's horribly swollen left nut, popping it to "let some of the fluid out"
E) Lance Armstrong Livestrong Ballsack Fluid Pops
F) The nut cancer I will undoubtedly contract as a result of mocking someone who actually had nut cancer
G) *pop* *SQWOOOOOSH* "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!" "Sorry, Lance. heeheeheeheeheehee!"
H) A big, fat, noncancerous cock
UPDATE: heeheeheeheeheehee!
A) Sheryl Crow's tiny, sweaty, squinchy tits
B) Lance Armstrong's horribly swollen nutsack
C) Lance and Sheryl's swollen, squinchy breakup
D) The fountain pen Armstrong's doctor undoubtedly used on Lance's horribly swollen left nut, popping it to "let some of the fluid out"
E) Lance Armstrong Livestrong Ballsack Fluid Pops
F) The nut cancer I will undoubtedly contract as a result of mocking someone who actually had nut cancer
G) *pop* *SQWOOOOOSH* "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!" "Sorry, Lance. heeheeheeheeheehee!"
H) A big, fat, noncancerous cock
UPDATE: heeheeheeheeheehee!
posted by My Mouth at 11:36 AM
8 Comments:
Yeah, that cancer stuff isn't funny.
Oh, I'd have liked another tour or two.
Big swollen nuts or not.
Thank goodness he retired. We couldn't take many more Tours des Frances.
Once again, I have bent space and time, and have posted my comment before Lance's testicles!
I am offended. We fuck footballs in a quiet, orderly manner, no matter how many of us are attempting it. I am reporting your website to the ZOO.
I also like bananas, BUT THAT IS NOT BECAUSE I'M A WALKING, SHIT-HURLING STEREOTYPE.
You monkeyist.
I'll show YOU the monkey. Hah!
Which ZOO will you report me to, you shambling, shit-hurling STEREOTYPE?
Here's a banana, CHIMP.
OOO! OOO! That's IT! You make me sooo mad! I will report you to the zoo-keeper!
But first, a banana.
You're not the first person who's complained about the last choice, and you likely won't be the last.
The point is that it's a POSSIBILITY. It may be in there, it may not. With all the various people, places, items, concepts, and thoughts I place in my mouth at any given time, it would be highly unusual, even terribly unlikely if a big, fat cock DIDN'T end up in there.
What's certain is that you're not FOCUSING. FOCUS. FOCUS ON MY MOUTH. People who FOCUS on my mouth don't have time to ask me stupid fucking questions that have already been asked before.
For the record, it's GWiMMRN, not GWiMM, or GW, or any other combination of letters. This acronym was chosen very carefully.
Thanks for writing. FOCUS.
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