GWiMMRN, My Horribly Fucked-Up Id Demands Release Edition

You wouldn't be reading this if you didn't get some illicit little thrill out of it, so don't give me that, "At least I'm not as fucked up as that GWiMMRN guy" shit. You're not fooling anyone. At least I have the COURAGE to put these things in my mouth, and the DECENCY to let you vicariously experience them. Let's get on with it:

A) A pink slip because you didn't TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!!!! fast enough
B) A pink slit
C) The three-letter reply I got when I asked my infant nephew what Eugene's flesh dragon goes
D) The surveillance tape I acquired from Wal-Mart that showed Sheppy furtively whacking off to the labels on the "Junior Miss" packages in the pantyhose aisle (SORRY, SHEPPY, YOU STILL GET NO BREAK HERE YOU NASTY LITTLE PUBLIC MASTURBATOR, YOU)
E) My buttery nutsack
F) Angelina Jolie's lower lip, duct-taped to the nozzle on my shop-vac and well-greased with turkey gravey in order to facilitate my solitary delights
G) The extra "e" in gravey
H) The boss's big, fat cock


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Angelina Jolie doesn't look too happy in that picture.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous A. Jolie said...

You wouldn't, either, if your cracked lower lip was duct-taped to a shop-vac.

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Your Boss said...

You're fired.

7:59 AM  
Anonymous The Worker said...

Fuck you, I QUIT!!!

8:51 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Angie, if you'd just sucked my dick like I asked you to, you wouldn't find yourself duct-taped to a shop vac.

Now lick the gravey off your lip and get out of here. I'm done.

8:52 AM  
Anonymous Mouth's Infant Nephew said...


8:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Mouth's comment was the meanest thing said to anyone, anywhere.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...

Uhh-uh-uh-I-ii duh-duh-d-d-d-d-d-d-duhhh-don't uh-uhhhg-uh-uh-aahh-agree.

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

uh-uh-uh don't really fucking care if you agree.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You spelt gravey wrong.

10:13 AM  

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