What Kind of Sick Fuck Works on a Saturday AND a Sunday?

I don't know, but I'M working today. My goodness. You know, this whole thing reminds me of a story about when Paris Hilton was sucking the cum out of Larry "Bud" Melman's cock. See, I told this joke... I forget what the joke was, but anyway, Paris found it soooo funny that Bud's baby batter literally flew out of Paris' nostrils! Bud and I didn't even stop laughing at the scene long enough to give Paris a towel or anything. Paris was laughing and cursing, with Bud's yellowish sperm dripping from her nose. Ahhhh. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Yes, it WAS yesterday.


A) Mint flavoured chlorine.
B) Mustard gas from eating too much of French's Yellow Mustard.
C) A 6 foot long hoagie brimming with Larry "Bud" Melman's love juices.

D) Da Da-ism.
E) Ji Ji-ism.
F) An inspiring story of courage, hope, and hearts that heal.
G) A big, fat cock.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The picture looks like the flag of some horrible country based on honoring Larry "Bud" Melman's yellow semen.

11:35 AM  
Anonymous L. "B" M. said...

I never would have guessed that the brown stuff in the bowl was "turds" unless someone had told me.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous P. Hilton said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

That is, the only one who's tasted Larry "Bud" Melman's thick, yellow cock-snot.

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Pedro Fuck Knuckles said...

Hey, mang! Why does dat guy got a boner, mang? Da one onna left?


11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck! You changed the photo! Now it doesn't look like a flag any more!

11:39 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

He's very excited to be sharing a sperm bread sandwich with his bestest football buddies.

11:43 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

I corrected the earlier picture. It's now more of an HOMAGE to LBM's cock-snot.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous L. "B" M. said...

I'm honored.

Except for the "turds" part.

11:45 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Larry, you're obviously not focusing. Scoll down to the bottom of this webpage for an inspirational message of courage, hope, and focusing on what's in my mouth right now.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous L. "B" M. said...

I'm inspired.


1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Listen, I don't want to alarm anyone, but I just shat myself silly.

I don't know if it's career pressure or just every-day nerves, but I got, like, a ton of dooky all over my chair and my pants. I'll have to peel my underwear off when I get home in about, oh, two more hours.

I guess I should go home NOW, but I'm too busy.

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anyone else smell popcorn?

Oh, wait. That's not popcorn. That's the smell of shit from the guy who unloaded in his drawers.

I get those mixed up. I probably shouldn't work at the movie theater any more.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

Just saying "HI" to my mouth.
Was gone for a bit.
I hope choosing A is a lot more fun than my weekend.

Heck, At this point, G is more exciting too.

6:33 PM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

You should try F.

10:16 AM  

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