1/26/06

Oooo, You Mother-Bitch! Have You Guessed What's in My Mouth Right Now?

Have you, punk? You better do it now, if you haven't:

A) A nice dinner cooked by Eugene (the man, not the dog)
B) That loaf of Wonder bread I fucked one lonely night
C) The illicit pleasure you'd feel if you saw an Asian broad puking on a beach where a shark was swimming toward a bunch of people in the water
D) Bruce's brown, tomatoey Thursday morning shits
E) A death in the family
F) Colin Farrell's latest used condom, repurposed as a tasty wad of chewing gum that just lasts, like, forever!
G) A BIG, FAT cock

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Strangely, the most disturbing thing I ever read on this site is Letter E) A death in the family.

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Forever is a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

8:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*blorp* Shark! Shark!

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please refrain from sexually abusing any of our fine bread products, or we will be forced to put our crack legal team, headed by J. Frankensuckcock, Esq. to work suing you.

8:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*chew chew chew* ooo! It tastes like Lindsay Lohan!

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is SO disgusting I can't stand it.

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait. Did you fuck the Wonderbread IN the store? Or did you buy it and take it home? 'Cause I bought a load of Wonderbread the other day and it had some holes poked through the plastic, and some of the non-crust area of the bread were hard n' crusty. Some parts were like dough balls, you know? Like when you take Wonderbread into your hands and shape it into a ball, except that the balls were hard and salty tasting. I ate all of it, though, but I always wondered about that Wonderbread. Huh. How about that.

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I taste great!

12:35 PM  

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