Don't Stop Thinking about My Mouth

It'll soon be here!


A) Something better than before.
B) Yesterday.
C) That time when I just went for it.
D) The ripple effect you get when you tickle the shriveled horse testicle looking Star Jones Reynolds.
E) A Presidential Pardon for all the sickening, disgusting, just plan awful things I've written on this website.
F) How Satan doesn't really take Presidential Pardons into consideration when thinking up a real good eternal torture for you.
G) Muh-muh-muh-hah-hah-hah-muh-muh-muh-mud A-aaa!aaali.
H) A big, fuh-fuh-fuh-fat cock.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

*ring ring*

Hello? 911?

Uh, hi. I was, um. Well, I was masturbating. And, uhh, well, I ejaculated all over my belly.

What...um...what should I do now?




10:09 AM  
Anonymous William Jefferson Clinton said...

Hee hee!

I love this site.

10:10 AM  
Anonymous The Real Star Jones Reynolds said...

I wouwd wike to teww evwywone that I do not wesembuhw a hohse testicuhw.


Pwease stop making these tewwibuhw jokes about me and my supposed wesembwance immediatewy.

Tee hee hee!

It's not at aww amusing.

10:13 AM  
Anonymous Star Jones Reynolds said...

I'm pretty damned sick of coming here to find yet another accusation made about me and my supposed resemblance to a horse's organs of generation.

The person claiming to be me above was NOT me, and I'm offended that someone would pretend to be me to continue some kind of sick joke.

From the spelling, I suspect it was Barbara Walters. You can be sure that she AND you will be hearing from my lawyer, who is NOT the diseased, sick individual calling himself J. Frankensuckcock, Esq.

I cannot BELIEVE that anyone would honesty think of him as a true attorney. His silly name should have given it away. For your information, I am represented by the law firm of Gagg, Spuhw, and Asscheeksgobbler, Attorneys at Law.

Welcome, as they often say, to the House of Poverty.

10:17 AM  
Anonymous President George W. Bush said...

Here's y'all's pardon for all the sick sheeit you been writin' here.

Keep up the good work, son. If people ain't guessin' what's in your mouth right now, then the terr'rists've won.

Now go on an' gobble my ass cheeks. I ain't got all day.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I... uh. I have all day.

I really do.


10:59 AM  
Anonymous Gagg, Spuhw, and Asscheeksgobbler, Attorneys at Law said...

Remember: You don't get sucked until WE get sucked first.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous 911 Operators Union Local 151 said...

As the Union rep, my job is to protect our workers from troubling working conditions.

It is clear to me that this website has become a haven for 911 abuse. We will all go on strike until GWiMMRN stops abusing the 911 lines and lets real emergencies get through.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...

Thuh-thuh-thhh-thhh-thh-thh-thhhhh!-thuhhh-this uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uhhhhhh-isuh-isn't ff-ff-ffff-ff!-ffff!-ffffff!!-fuhh-fuhhhh-fuhh-hunny, yuh-yuh-yuh-you uhh-uhh-uhhhhhhhhhhh-uhh-uhh-ass-huh-huh-huhuh-huhhh-hole!

Wuh-wuh-w-w-w-w-w-wuhh-why duh-duh-duh-duh-don't yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-you gg-g-g-g-g-guhh-guh-ggg-g-g-uhh-gobuh-gobble muh-muh-m-mm-m-mmmm!-mmuhh-muhh-muh-my ahhh-aaaa-ass chuh-chuh-chh-chuhh-cheeks.

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

Hello? 911?

Yeah, hi. I was just wondering if, oh. This...this is so emBARrassing. Can you, um, can you do something about my penis?

There's a big blue vein in it.

Hello? Hello?

I need help.


11:28 AM  
Anonymous President James Carter said...

I'd like a briefing on the progress of that husky young man's request for seventy-seven hot apple pies. Please contact the Joint Chiefs.

The last thing we want is a fecal-follicle collision.

11:30 AM  
Anonymous John 3:16 said...

Hey, listen up James. You ain't the President anymore. You can't order up briefings any more than that fat kid's younger brother can order us around and demand 77 hot apple pies.

Why don't you go build a house for Jesus, for Christ's sake.

12:37 PM  
Anonymous A. Animal said...

Hello. My name is A. Animal and, as my name suggests, I'm an animal.

I'm writing to let you know that I just took a huge dump in the woods. It's wet, it smells bad, and it is being hungrily devoured by dung beetles and so-called "ka-ka flies" as I type.

I wiped my shit-stained ass fur all over the forest floor by "scooting" along, ass down and propelled by my "arms." Luckily, I found a pile of dried leaves and was able to finish the job. I cleaned myself thoroughly when I got to the local creek. I was quite amused to see a human hiker drink from the stream shortly after I washed my ass in it and proclaim, "Ahhh! You don't get fresh water like this in the city!"

Now, this is not the kind of story that gets reported in the media -- A run-of-the-mill animal taking a huge, wet, and smelly dump in the forest and cleaning up afterwards. But it should. I lead a very interesting life and more attention should be paid to my story.

Thank you, and Bless the USA.


A. Animal

2:40 PM  

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