4/5/06

Your Mouth Is Like a USB Port for my DING-DONG

YOUR mouth doesn't enter into this. It's MY mouth that's important. Let's make that perfectly clear. Guess, now, what's in MY mouth, not yours:

A) The song, "Don't stop thinking about my penis...don't stop...it'll soon be here. It'll be here, bigger than before..."
B) A Klein bottle
C) The words, "Enough with the CAT SHIT already."
D) A smiling Cheshire cat
E) A slice of birthday cake liberally spattered with Aunt Ginny's hot yellow mucus after she simultaneously sneezed and farted when blowing out the candles
F) A dish of vanilla ice cream sprinkled with something indescribable after Cousin Bertrice accidentally queefed in the freezer
G) Bacon
H) Beans
I) A big, fat cock

14 Comments:

Anonymous Klein said...

GIVE ME BACK MY BOTTLE, YOU VOCIFEROUS HORNSWAGGLER!

5:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I refused to look at the "Bacon." It has the words "PenisNoSpinesA" in it. I don't know what that means, but it's probably some disgusting medical picture.

Sicko.

5:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, but what happened to Aunt Ginny's fart? Did anyone save it?

Did her friends yell "I am Farticus" to make sure no one knows who dealt it?

5:55 AM  
Anonymous Aunt Ginny said...

No, everyone laughed and pointed.

The pigfuckers.

8:08 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Look at the picture, you fucking pussy. Your reluctance to follow the links is a clear sign of an inability to FOCUS.

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Fleetwood Mac said...

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I want to know is how someone "accidentally" queefs in the freezer.

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Cousin Bertrice said...

It was a series of little mistakes that added up to a long, bio-splatter-esque queef in Aunt Ginny's freezer.

I would rather not recount the events that precipitated the queef, nor would I like to remember what happened during and after said queef.

Thanks for asking.

Pigfuckers.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Birthday Party Guest said...

Well, I have NO PROBLEM recounting the events that occurred subsequent to that horrifically disgusting queef.

Shocked, we all backed a few steps away from the madly-queefing Aunt Bertrice, who continued to spoon out ice cream despite the most DISGUSTING noises issuing from her female parts. After which, she squatted over the ice cream dishes, and what happened immediately after was something I shall require SEVERAL YEARS of intensive psychiatric therapy to overcome.

Thank you for this opportunity.

You ding-dong.

8:23 AM  
Anonymous Cousin Bertrice's Queef said...

I will not be silenced!

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, the least you could do is not spread yourself all over the ice cream.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ding-dong the queef is dead, the queef is dead, the queef is dead. Ding-dong, the smelly queef is DEAD!

11:46 AM  
Anonymous cousin bertrice's queef said...

I'm not dead. I'm living inside you. INSIDE WHAT YOU ATE AT AUNT GINNY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

1:52 PM  

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