GWiMMRN, Sunday Walkies Edition
We went on a nice two-mile walk today, which gave me the opportunity to put all sorts of interesting things in my mouth. Guess what's in there right now:
A) Broken glass from a bottle of Heineken
B) What looked to me like a torn-up, knotted fry-cook's apron, but my wife insisted was a pair of UNDERPANTS
C) My admonishment to "Watch out for the DOG LOGS" as we walked down the grassy hill
D) A dog log with a footprint in it, not mine
E) The nice Hispanic man we passed on the way back who was talking on a cellphone; I had a mad urge to say to him, "Hola! Como estas, bbbrrrooooooooo?"
F) Birdies in the trees
G) A huge, slack, sloppy pussy that lay in the street and blew hot chunks of cunt-snot all over the place in-between shouting lines from Restoration Comedies
H) A big, fat you-know-what
A) Broken glass from a bottle of Heineken
B) What looked to me like a torn-up, knotted fry-cook's apron, but my wife insisted was a pair of UNDERPANTS
C) My admonishment to "Watch out for the DOG LOGS" as we walked down the grassy hill
D) A dog log with a footprint in it, not mine
E) The nice Hispanic man we passed on the way back who was talking on a cellphone; I had a mad urge to say to him, "Hola! Como estas, bbbrrrooooooooo?"
F) Birdies in the trees
G) A huge, slack, sloppy pussy that lay in the street and blew hot chunks of cunt-snot all over the place in-between shouting lines from Restoration Comedies
H) A big, fat you-know-what
posted by My Mouth at 12:09 PM
11 Comments:
I would appreciate it if you would find the bastard who stepped on me. I'm in pain over here.
EMOTIONAL pain.
I don't have any nerves so I can't feel physical pain. But I can EMOTE.
Has anyone seen my apron?
Some comedies are better left unrestored, if you get where I'm coming from.
DOG LOG
DOG LOG
*brrrrrrrrrrp*
'nother dead soldier.
Hey, what the hell is that in the road? Looks like a huge, a huge...VAGINA! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!
*GULP*
Bbbbbrrrrrroooooooooooooooo hooo hoooo hoooo hooooooooo!
Que pasa, Señor Chip Butty? Como estas?
I'm guessing Sen~or Chip Butty has a Blackberry or something, because I don't see how he can talk on the cellphone without hands. Or arms for that matter.
Or ears.
Ohhhhh boy.
I just wet myself.
Did anyone do that? Just now? Wet themsleves?
I just want to let the readers of this website know that I myself have only said, "Ohhhhhh, boy" once in my life, and that was when they rammed the plunger in.
As my best friend Deroy Murdock, "Patron Saint" of GWiMMRN would say (in between quick little jerks of his penis), "GROW UP."
Thank you.
"I refuse to take the bait on this one."
"Grow up."
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