They're Watching My Mouth and It's Only TUESDAY

[angrily pulling down the venetian blinds]
"They're...watching me!"
-- The Brass Ring (1983)

My Mouth is always reaching for The Brass Ring. Short of it, My Mouth settles for the brown ring.

Settle the debate! Isn't there SOMEONE who knows what's in my mouth right now?

A) A queef from Katie Couric.
B) Those adorable stubble hairs atop Matt Lauer's mostly-shaved skull.
C) Those adorable little ass hairs near Jessica Alba's starfish.
D) Tongue condom (I ain't going into letter C without it).
E) Jack rabbit ejaculate.
F) The whole town of Gunbarrel, Colorado.
G) A fig, bat cock.

Hint: You have to open the mouth until the uvula shows in order to get it all in.

updated hint: Unscramble the letters to find the answer. OPB ETH AGLBONO


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How can you tell the difference between Matt Lauer's head hairs and Jessica Alba's ass hairs?

I've tried to figure out the anagram, but the only answer I keep coming up with is "Jack rabbit ejaculate" and I'm sure it's not right.

8:02 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Oh, it's right.

9:22 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

You have to be quick with the rabbits, though. But they can go for hours.

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the tip!

And that recipe sounds SCRUMPTIOUS! I'm going to make it for my friend's wedding tomorrow!

Can you substitute mayonnaise for mustard, though? It seems somehow more appropriate to me.

9:45 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

No. But jizz is acceptable.

Don't forget to tell your friend to mush the cake into the bride's face! It's a picture perfect moment!

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How many g's are in bologgggna?

1:41 PM  

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