10/28/05

TGIF Edition of GWiMMRN

Ahh! Up early for a new day of putting things in my mouth. What shall I choose to put in there?

A) An FBI profile of the sick individual who conceived and created this blog
B) Camille Bacon-Smith
C) The abrasive, not-particularly adorable stubble hairs on Katie Couric's untoned suuh-NATCH
D) A gigantic tub of mayonnaise with the mushroom-shaped imprint of Memin Pinguin's glans in the middle of it
E) A jar of jizz, hold the tea and toast unless the tea is jizz flavored, in which case it's all right but definitely not the toast
F) Gummi penises in lieu of the usual, as it's Friday

7 Comments:

Blogger lola said...

Hows about welsh rarebit.....its a delicacy. My nan used to make it when we'd go visit her.

or if not, the you could always try a big hairy elephant cock.

big love as always

Lo xx

6:26 AM  
Blogger My Mouth said...

Oh, welsh rarebit and welsh rabbit are both very tasty.

I don't care much for elephant cock, though the baggy, saggy elephant balls are intriguing.

xxxooo

Mouthy

7:37 AM  
Anonymous Nigel Hollingsworth said...

Ahhh, yes. I recall the cheesy, slightly beery taste of welsh rarebit on a wedge of crunchy toast on a cool autumn afternoon.

It brings to mind walks along the strand as the sea air briskly turned our coifs into wind sculptures across our cool brows. The cry of seagulls rang in our ears, mingled with the low tone of the bell tower counting the hours.

Those were good days, the days of beaches and welsh rarebit.

Until Aunt Francine arrived and made us perform cunnilingus on her withered gray twat while she shrieked out passages from the book of Job.

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Eat that twat! Eat that twat!"
-- Aunt Francine

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Nigel Hollingsworth said...

Actually, it was more like, "Now there was a day when his sons and daughters were eating yehhnthrrgh and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house; arrrghgghgh and there came a messenger to Job, and said, 'The oxen were plowing and the asses feeding beside them; uhhnfff and the Sabe'ans fell upon them and took them, and slew the servants with the edge of the sword; and I alone have ohhnnnnghghrth escaped to tell you.' While he was yet speaking, there came another, and said, 'The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep ffffthththrrr and the servants, and consumed them; and I alone have escaped to tell you.' Yeeeeerrrgh!"

That was what she said. Usually.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I wanna feel it in my UTERUS!!"
-- Aunt Francine

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Nigel Hollingsworth said...

Please, stop attributing quotes to my late Aunt Francine Agnes Thornefoote that are simply not accurate. She was a very articulate woman and would never use a term like "wanna." Because you are ill-informed, I feel I must give you another quote from Aunt Francine (or "Auntie Frannie," as she liked us to address her).

"Now when Job's three nnnnnrrghgh friends heard of all this evil that had come ughgggffth upon him, they came each from his own place, Eli'phaz the hrthm Te'manite, Bildad the waughthth Shuhite, and Zophar the ohhhfthththth Na'amathite. They made an appointment together to come to condole with him and comfort him. And when they saw him sssyeeeerth from afar, they did not recognize him; and they raised their voices eeeeeehhhhptptp and wept; and they rent their robes and sprinkled dust upon their bibibibfgth heads toward heaven. Keep working those tongues, dearies."

12:04 PM  

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