My Mouth Has Been Rode Hard and Put Away Wet

Fweeew! What a day for my mouth. It's sure been busy. What's in there now, you think?

A) A ping-pong ball, shot from the talented snatch of a waifish but hirsute Filipino stripper
B) Champagne sipped from the acne scars dotting Cameron Diaz's face
C) Eyelashes
D) A marmite-smeared plaster cast of Queen Elizabeth's pudendal sphincter, to be used for my solitary pleasure
E) Blood and souls for my Lord Arioch
F) Jacket potatoes, all crisp on the outside and light and fluffy on the inside
G) A teensy-weensy little peepee


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the kid pictured in Letter D needs to go to the hospital.

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could play 18 holes on Diaz's right cheek.

3:09 PM  

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